Chemotherapy - First Time!

My first chemo treatment was at 9:40 this morning.  It was a rough morning for emotions, this was the most nervous I've been for any of my treatments.  I got the boys off to school with a smile but the closer I got to my appointment the more I started to melt down.  Poor Matt and Lauren got the brunt of my orneriness and tears. I had a housekeeper scheduled to come over right after we left and I freaked out and shut all the windows and told Lauren to ignore the door if she came.  This sounds so stupid now because it was obviously going to be a help but I wasn't thinking clearly; it just seemed stressful to even think about one more thing.  As we pulled out of the driveway we saw my cute new housekeeper (her name is Patricia and she usually gives me about 10 hugs every time she comes over - she's the sweetest!) and Matt asked her if we could just reschedule.  She looked concerned but said yes.  After we drove about a block or two away I started to cry (again) because I realized that I was taking away this new friends' job and money for the day without any prior notice so I told Matt to turn back around.  He is so amazing to put up with my crazy, reassuring me that he'd do whatever I wanted.  I stayed in the car and cried some more while he got Patricia lined up for the day.  (And fast forward to after my treatment... it was SO nice to come home to a clean house!!)

Ok, so to back up a little, I started the day by putting a numbing cream on my "port-o-cath" about an hour before treatment.  You're supposed to lay the creme on thick and put plastic over it until the nurse accesses the port.  This was one of the things causing me stress because I couldn't get my plastic cap to stay taped in place.  I was going to wear my "Team Heidi" t-shirt but then realized I needed something button down so they could access my port easily.  I'll be wearing it tomorrow the help me when the nausea supposedly starts!  The following is a picture of my port after the nurse had me hooked up.  If you look closely, you can see the small tube that runs from the port and ties into my jugular vein (at the top of the photo).  {Shiver}  As soon as my nurse (easily and painlessly!) accessed my port I instantly became more calm.  Smiles for the rest of the day!!

My treatment is almost all intravenous.  I will do this regimen 4 times, every other week and then switch to completely different drugs.

• 15 minutes of Emend (Anti-nausea meds - most common side effects: tiredness, hiccups, constipation or diarrhea.)
• 30 seconds of Aloxi (Anti-nausea meds - mcse: headache, constipation.)
• 20 minutes of Decadron (A glucocorticoid to assist the other drugs - mcse: difficulty sleeping, fluid retention, weight gain, moodiness and irritability.)
• 10 minutes of Adriamycin (Chemo drug - mcse: decreased white blood cell count, nausea, vomiting,  decreased platelet count, loss of appetite, darkening of nail beds and skin creases, hair loss, mouth sores.)
• 60 minutes of Cytoxan (Chemo drug - mcse: all of the above for Adrianycin, plus headaches; especially if administered too quickly.)
• An injection in the arm of Neulasta (Stimulates white blood cell production - mcse: bone pain, stinging at injection site.

My drugs are the strongest they prescribe for my variety of breast cancer chemo (remember everyone's cancer can be totally different!).  They're giving me this aggressive treatment for a few reasons but the two biggest are 1) that the cancer moved into my lymph nodes and 2) my age and health make it easier for me to handle the stronger drugs.  The Adriamycin drug is the doozy... it's referred to as the "Red Devil" and it's got some pretty yucky risks.  The nurse has to manually push this drug into my veins instead of just go through the IV stand so she can monitor that it's going in correctly.  If it leaks out of my veins it can eat away my tissue, ugh.  It's also the reason why I needed the heart test.  This drug can cause heart problems and/or leukemia in a small percentage of patients.

This is my adorable nurse Lisa.  Matt and I are in awe of this woman - she's the one I told you about that is a breast cancer survivor herself.  She is kind and loving but in a upbeat way.  She was busy today and there were literally 2-3 times when we saw her running around the room to grab warm blankets or meds for patients.  She called everyone by name but would also drop the occasional "darling, sweetie and cutie" to patients and spouses alike.  I heard someone recently say they hated being referred to like that because they felt it was condescending... I am of the opposite opinion - I love it!  This amazing woman can call me or Matt "darling" anytime!  The room had about 7 patients in it and we were all receiving different treatments for varying things.  There was one sweet woman who looked about 80 and it broke my heart to see her hooked up.  I didn't talk to her because she was asleep most of the time so I don't even know if it was cancer or a blood disorder or what.

Matt and I passing the time.  I love these to pics of him because they are SO his personality.  The first one is as he's dialing someone for work; he's getting his goofy out of the way.  The second picture is when he's actually on the business call.  He does a personality shift, gets all into it and uses his hands a lot.  His main move is the one he's doing with his bottom hand - he'll hold it up and down like that and then tap the table/desk periodically for emphasis, like he's going through his check list.  Ha ha!  We spent the day together listening to split headphones, chatting, and checking the sweet messages we received.  He also went on a smoothie run for me and I got some fun reading time in.  The treatment was long, but it was physically and emotionally easier than I thought.

So we left the chemo treatment center at about 1:30 and then grabbed some meds.  The rest of today has been just fine.  I've had a tiny bit of queasiness but I've been able to head it off by drinking lots of water and ginger tea.  It's also helped to keep my tummy full; trail mix is what I've been craving.  I have a headache and a bit of blurry vision (like when I've got a migraine coming on) but I had tylenol and a big nap and that took the edge off.  

The kids are doing good (Bradley's been dealing with chiropractic neck issues but turned a corner today), Matt's behind on work (ha ha, always) but doing good, our family is being really well taken care of by friends and neighbors, and I'm looking forward to a good night of sleep and crossing my fingers that tomorrow and Saturday won't be as bad and I'm anticipating!  I'll do a quick update on here tomorrow to let you know how things are going so you won't have to text or call.  Love you all!