Surgery - Double Mastectomy with Expanders Placed

January 9 (Friday) I went into the hospital at 7:45 AM for my surgery.  The nurse was great and there were no problems with the IV this time (they couldn't use the port they put in during the last surgery because it was too close to where they were doing surgery).  As we were talking with the nurse she mentioned that her sister had breast cancer a few years back.  When we asked how she was doing she replied, "oh, she passed, she didn't catch the cancer soon enough..."  I felt so bad for her loss, and she was such a kind person, but this would have been a good time for her to lie!  (It seriously didn't bother me, I just thought it was too funny to leave out).  This go around with surgery went smoother and quicker than anticipated.  Both Dr. M and Dr. R felt like things went perfectly.  I remember being moved from the surgery table to the bed and saying that the move was hurting, but I must have fallen back to sleep because the next thing I knew, I was in my recovery room with Matt.  I had a difficult time getting on top of my pain management at first, but once under control my recovery went well.  I stayed in the hospital until late the following afternoon.  You can see in the middle picture that my posture is kind of hunched forward, that's something I'm still working on - those muscles are really tight.   After I got home, I spent the next few days either sleeping or moving around in a sleepy stupor, but everyone around me was so patient and helpful.  Jackie and Biffy took my kids for a couple nights, we were brought multiple delicious meals, and Matt was able to work from home.  For the first few days I needed Matt's help with almost everything, especially getting in and out of bed.  Even pumping the hand soap was a difficult chore!  

January 14 (Wednesday) I went to my post-op checkup with Dr R and everything is progressing well.  I could've gotten one of my drains out but Dr. R said he's never taken them out that early so he'd feel more comfortable waiting till Monday.  

I've trying to gradually reduce my meds but today I decided to completely bag the Percocet/Lortab stuff.  It makes me feel loopy, and yucky.  I was getting so mixed up that I was started to cry and was worried the cancer moved to my brain... Matt reassured me that I'd just been under heavy narcotics during the week and I'd feel better once they were out of my system.  A few of my crazy moments: 1) Matt told me of someone who he'd just heard of that was also diagnosed with cancer.  I said, "I should call to talk with her since I'm pregnant too."  2) When Matt asked what was in my smoothie I was drinking I replied, "ketchup!" and 3) We were talking about his brother in Arizona and I mistakenly said he lived in Florida.  Bradley and Matt both corrected me and said Arizona and I replied, "ya, I know, Florida."  Oh boy... 

One more tidbit of info - I've started to exercise!  Now when I say this, don't get any grand ideas in your head.  The first time I did it I walked on my treadmill (with Lauren reading nearby, just in case) and I did my entire walk at a whopping 1 mph!!!  I had to hold onto the handrails and let me tell you, that 1 mph was making me breathe hard, lol - but it made me feel so much better to just move!   

January 19 (Monday) My drains were removed today!!  I felt like I turned a corner last Friday with my recovery (and even started to drive a little bit) but Monday was an even better milestone - I'm feeling good!  

This was my 4th time seeing Dr. R and my opinion of him has done a complete 180 - I love him now!!  During the previous appointments, he'd make comments like, "these are gonna be sexy," or after my surgery he looked at how I was healing and said everything was "looking hot!"  I think he was trying to be cheerful and easygoing and Matt was with me the whole time and he thought the doctor was just trying to create a positive, fun atmosphere, but it felt weird.  I kept telling Matt before this appointment that I was going to tell off Dr. R if he said anything like that again. When he (of course) did say something at this appointment, I said, "don't say that, say they look healthy!"  I'm so non confrontational... I told him off good and strong, LOL!  Matt interjected and clarified by telling him that those comments made me feel uncomfortable.  The thing is, just expressing my feelings to him made me feel in control of the situation and instead of focusing on the one or two odd comments he made, I was able to truly see what a kind, knowledgeable doctor he is.  It also left me in a better headspace to understand the entire situation... I've been in such a fix-it, healing mode that it's been hard to shift my mindset to the way I might feel after the cancer is gone.  Matt mentioned that all my other doctors have a job to heal and fix the cancer - this is not Dr. R's job... his job is more along the lines of taking these ladies that have been through the wringer and helping to heal their sense of self and womanhood.  He's trying to make these appointments lighthearted.  Seeing it from that perspective, made me really like him a lot.  Plus, both Matt and I joked/agreed that Matt would probably be an irreverent, quirky kind of doctor just like Dr. R!

January 20 (Tuesday)  Today was my chemo class!  Matt was out of town so Lauren came with me and we recorded the info for Matt.  The nurse was wonderful - she has the added experience of being a cancer patient herself a few years ago and she also has experience being the caretaker as her husband recently went through cancer as well.  What an amazing perspective she brings!!  The class was a lot of stuff I've heard or read before but the nurse walked me through each individual drug they'd be using, how long each would take, and what all the side effects were.  They were very careful to stress that every patient responds totally differently to chemo, however there is a similar pattern between a lot of the patients:  Days 1-3 are the sickest, days 4-6 you start feeling better, days 7-10 are when your white blood count is the lowest so you feel super tired and need to be extra careful about germs, days 11-14 you start feeling better and then the next day you start the cycle all over again.

January 22 (Thursday)  I met with Dr. S today for a checkup and to set up a time and date for my chemo.  He had the pathology reports from the surgery and they were fabulous!  No cancer at all in the left breast (that tumor was truly benign) and all the margins are completely clear on the right breast.  It was so great to hear good news from this pathology report!  Dr. S mentioned that in hindsight we probably would have done the chemo before surgery if the MRI had shown how extensive the cancer truly was.  However, both Matt and I feel good about the path we've taken.  It was an emotional month with the surgeries but with the mastectomy we'll never have to second guess whether or not all the cancer is gone.  

Dr. S says I'm healing well and look ready to start the next phase of treatment.  I need to have a heart test on Monday at the hospital, but assuming that goes well, we've decided to start on next Thursday, January 29th at 9:40 AM.  It sounds crazy, but I am so excited to get going.  Don't get me wrong, I know it's going to be horrible.  However, I'm so blessed for these medicines and I'm excited to kill off all those deadly cells in my body ASAP so I can reclaim my life.  Bring it on - I'm ready!!

This is my cute oncologist Dr. Stinnett.  He works with Utah Cancer Specialists and I love him! (As a side note, he usually doesn't have a goatee and was hesitant to get his picture taken with it on, ha ha.) I'll be meeting with Dr. S for the next 10 years to make sure I don't have any recurrences.