Dr. S asked how I was handling the side effects and I told him I felt better than I'd expected and only had to take my anti-nauseous pills twice. I thought he'd be be so impressed but instead he said, "You only took them twice?! Be liberal with those pills - they aren't habit forming and there's no need for you to try to muscle through the nausea." This was the best thing for me to hear because I do have a tendency to try to be strong and then I have the inevitable crash. Ah, there's my pride getting in the way again!
Speaking of nausea, I feel so blessed with the supplementary medicine I'm receiving during treatment to lesson all the side effects that accompany chemo drugs. The only experiences I've had previously with cancer is seeing my Grandmother in her hospital bed a few days before she passed, and seeing cancer portrayed on movies or television - neither experience led me to believe it would be an easy journey. I have a few thoughts about all that now... I am so grateful for modern medicine - my oncologist told me that in just the past 5 years, treatment for breast cancer has seen unbelievable advances. I'm thankful for the doctors and researchers that work to find cures, and also for patients that were willing to try investigational medications that have now become the standard. I feel incredibly blessed by all their struggles that have lessoned mine. Also, time for a reality check here - movies and television always try to portray things in the most dramatic way possible... it seems like no pregnant lady in the land of cinema goes through labor with an epidural; what's up with that?! No drama, I guess. My favorite show on television is "Parenthood" and one of the main characters struggled with breast cancer a couple years ago. She was in so much pain and suffering and I guess that's how I expected to feel. Maybe that's why I only took 2 of my nausea pills - I thought I was feeling great comparatively! I know my chemo effects are compounding and will get worse over the course of treatment, however it's good to remember that things we see on the screen are usually a worst case scenario. Which actually brings me right back around to being grateful and amazed by all the cancer patients in years past. I know that some of them did have to endure those worst case scenarios of treatment and if treatment doesn't work, even with today's fabulous medicine, I know how devastating this disease can be. Ok, enough talking in circles, I'm starting to babble.
All this brings me to my thoughts about figuring out a way to manage a good mix of resting and living my life. Most of the time I feel normal with the exception that I need to take 1-2 (ok, sometimes I've taken 3!) short naps to keep my energy up. This past week with the weather being so warm and beautiful, I was itching to get outside and work in the yard. Those of you who enjoy yard work will know that sometimes there is no better therapy than getting sweaty and dirty while working outside. I raked the entire backyard and it was so rejuvenating! Of course, on the other hand, I've had a couple of days (especially since I've gotten sick) that I just relax most of the day. I guess it all balances out.
Wow, this entry was longer than I expected, sorry I'm rambling on. Writing all this stuff down is also good therapy for me (although harder in some ways than raking the leaves, lol!) I know my family reads this blog and I've had many friends comment that they do as well, but I think even if nobody cared, I'd still write down my thoughts. Doing so helps me work through things mentally & emotionally and we all know that's what this journaling stuff is all about (or, it's all about that bass... your choice).
Love you all, have a great week!
Oh, PS - Chemo round 2 is on Thursday and after the second treatment is when most people start to lose their hair. That will be an exciting post to look forward to! :-D
Oh Man I'm sorry you got sick and hopefully you have truly discovered the culprit. Thanks for giving us a reality check. You're right, the media always portrays the worst of situations. I hope as time goes on you'll continue to manage just as well, even if you have to take as many of those wonderful nausea pills as necessary. :) Praying for you continually. Love ya.
ReplyDeleteYes, wonderful is right! They'll be my staple now instead of constantly eating. ;-)
DeleteI love those hospital water bottles, but I'm not happy that it got you sick. :(. Did you see the Parenthood finale? Holy moly, I had ugly tears going on. It was so good. So sad that it's over. It's funny because I read this to Colby and after reading the part about you not taking more pills I said, "I would never do something like that, right...?" Um, no. We Pierce girls are all the same. I hope you can kick this illness. Prayers always.
ReplyDeleteJackie, I think we should rewatch the whole series. I'm seriously going to have withdrawals!
DeleteI actually rewatched the pilot episode and couldn't believe how much they had all aged. It was fun to go back in time.
DeleteDitto Jackie again...why do we feel the need to 'muscle through' ?? I am glad that you felt well enough to rake the yard and glad that you are taking all your power naps, it seems like you have that bit figured out. :) I hope that your next round doesn't throw you for a loop. I didn't realize that chemo effects were cumulative; I guess Grandma Viv and Ty's dad both kept their treatments and reactions to the meds pretty private. I appreciate your willingness to be so transparent with your treatments, I know they will help us all appreciate the difference between 'Hollywood Cancer' and real life.
ReplyDeleteAlso Kim, my treatment could be vastly different from either Grandma or your father-in-law and/or my body may react differently to the meds too. I am amazed at all the different kinds of drugs there are for the various forms of cancer. I know a gal who's got breast cancer of a different type and she's taking different meds than me! It's crazy how everyone's path is similar but different. (PS - remember when I was on the phone and said I'd replied to this post - it went on another post for some weird reason. I'm so tech un-savvy... although I did ad my profile picture after we talked, yea!)
DeleteFor some reason, the idea of addictive anti-nausea pills struck me as incredibly funny. Not to jest, but growing up, a neighbor of mine got addicted to pain pills and at one point dropped their couch on her foot twice because it didn't hurt enough the first time. Can you imagine someone hanging over the toilet, "Honey, pleeeeeassse go get me another pill!" Good thing they aren't addictive!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh Marni, I was NOT addicted to pain pills but once I woke up and my arm had fallen asleep. Not the tingly feeling, but the dead no feeling kind. I'd never had it happen that way before and in my scared, sleepy stupor I kept throwing my arm against the wall with the other hand to wake it up. It's a wonder I didn't break it! We humans are funny creatures, especially when tired or under meds. ;-) You've got to laugh whenever possible. :)
DeleteI really enjoy reading this! You are great. Thank you for sharing and making it real for us. It seems like cancer is always so hush hush. I follow a blogger that is amazing I will send you a link in Facebook. She is a friend of my cousins and her thoughts are very interesting to read. I hope it helps us all to be able to understand your journey.
ReplyDeleteI'd love that link Holly, thanks! I'm following a couple of few cancer blogs of people I've never met. It's nice to peek in and see what they're going through - it makes it a little less scary.
ReplyDelete